|
Lesson
Three: Sample
Outline and Essay
Below you will find a sample outline and the essay written from that
outline.
OUTLINE
Paragraph 1 (Introduction)
I. Leading sentence: "In
1979, in the Soviet city of Odessa on the Black Sea, a young man
confronted a problem that would forever alter the course of his
existence."
II.
Connection between opening and
overall application:
"This 17-year-old Jewish man, who wanted most to become a doctor,
was denied the possibility of admission to medical school because of his
religion. It could have been an end to a dream."
Paragraph 2 (First Supporting Point)
I. Transition: "I was that man."
II. Supporting point: "My determination to become a
physician, and my parents' support of that ambition, turned our lives
upside down."
III. Evidence: "When we finally arrived in America in 1980,
we had to make our way to Seattle without funds, friends, or command of
English. My father, who is an engineer, was reduced to working as a
plumber, while I began each day at 5 a.m. unloading trucks. Life was a
struggle. . ."
Paragraph 3 (Second Supporting Point)
I. Transition sentence: "Within a year of my arrival here,
after attending night school to learn the language, I was able to obtain a
job as an X-ray orderly at a local hospital."
II. Supporting point: "In this position, and later as an
admitting aide, I was able over a period of three years to learn much more
about American medicine."
III. Evidence: "I saw suffering, healing, death, and all of
the other constants that make up any hospital environment. I had an
opportunity to observe surgeries, from mastectomies to hysterectomies and
bypasses, and to see firsthand the importance of positive doctor-patient
interactions."
Paragraph 4 (Third Supporting Point)
I. Transition sentence: "Beginning in 1984, I worked as a
volunteer in the autopsy room at my university's pathology department,
amassing more than 500 hours' experience."
II. Supporting point: "Just as the hospital provided me with
a chance to observe diagnosis and treatment, the autopsy room gave me a
chance to find out what goes wrong, what causes death."
III. Evidence: "I prepared organs for examination by medical
students as well as assisted in autopsies and cleaning up."
Paragraph 4 (Conclusion)
I. Brief summary of overall theme: "I first became interested in medicine in high
school when I sat in on my brother's medical school lectures, and my
commitment to this field has driven and sustained me in the face of so
many obstacles since my departure from Russia."
II. A nod to the future: "I am eager to begin my medical studies, eager to
meet the challenges I know they will present."
Click here to create your own outline
COMPLETED ESSAY
Note: The
below essay was not edited by EssayEdge Editors. It appears as it was
initially reviewed by admissions officers.
In 1979, in the Soviet city of Odessa on the Black Sea, a young man
confronted a problem that would forever alter the course of his existence.
This 17-year-old Jewish man, who wanted most to become a doctor, was denied
the possibility of admission to medical school because of his religion. It
could have been an end to a dream.
I was that man. My determination to become a physician, and my parents'
support of that ambition, turned our lives upside down. We applied for a
visa to leave Russia; while we waited, my parents and older brother were not
allowed to work, and all of us were followed by the KGB. When we finally
arrived in America in 1980, we had to make our way to Seattle without funds,
friends, or command of English. My father, who is an engineer, was reduced
to working as a plumber, while I began each day at 5 a.m. unloading trucks.
Life was a struggle, but we were all sustained by a dream: my goal of
studying to become a doctor.
Within a year of my arrival here, after attending night school to learn
the language, I was able to obtain a job as an X-ray orderly at a local
hospital. In this position, and later as an admitting aide, I was able over
a period of three years to learn much more about American medicine. I had
extensive contact with patients, doctors, nurses, and administrators and
found I was able to relate well to each group. I saw suffering, healing,
death, and all of the other constants that make up any hospital environment.
I had an opportunity to observe surgeries, from mastectomies to
hysterectomies and bypasses, and to see firsthand the importance of positive
doctor-patient interactions. I was fascinated by everything I saw and became
more convinced than ever that I could one day make my finest contribution as
a physician.
Beginning in 1984, I worked as a volunteer in the autopsy room at my
university's pathology department, amassing more than 500 hours' experience.
Just as the hospital provided me with a chance to observe diagnosis and
treatment, the autopsy room gave me a chance to find out what goes wrong,
what causes death. In that room it was possible for me to see death, smell
it, touch it. I prepared organs for examination by medical students as well
as assisted in autopsies and cleaning up. I was even awarded a highly
sought-after scholarship in recognition of my work.
I first became interested in medicine in high school when I sat in on my
brother's medical school lectures, and my commitment to this field has
driven and sustained me in the face of so many obstacles since my departure
from Russia. Now, with my goal in sight and so many recent experiences
reaffirming my passion for medicine, I know that all of the dedication and
sacrifice have been worthwhile. I am eager to begin my medical studies,
eager to meet the challenges I know they will present.
Continue To Short
Essay Strategies
|
|
|
|
